You may have noticed my blogs have been a little less frequent and mainly poems from my Poetry class. I must admit I have been stuck in an apathetic state of mind for some time (a few months). I was working on a potentially large project for most of the fall and winter. Then in the spring when everything should have started to click and come to life like blooming tulips I was hit by one road block to another. The excited partners started to drop off the “interested list” and selected sponsors pulled back. Gradually volunteers even declined positions offered and I was left with a shrinking scope for the project that effectively became Covid-19 infected and had to be dropped. (More on this in a previous blog, Audacious Goal…. or a trip down the rabbit hole).
So here I was deflated, humbled, irritated and getting depressed. What is a guy to do? Well don’t do what I did and internalize the whole scenario and tried to down play the impact. Further news in the month beat me down to an even lower run on the ladder but also gave me an opportunity to be constructive. But it was the physical and emotional toll that held on. I was forced to walk any early morning walk as my wife and dogs have also taken up the habit but I was far behind my walking from last year when I challenged myself to walk 1,000,000 steps.
Today was a better walk as I left the house after a short break and went as far on the trail as I could manage. A truly bright spot was when a walker stopped to ask about if I would be doing SuperWalk again this year. I guess wearing the new branded t-shirts helped her recognize me as the Million Steps guy. Her promise of a donation in dedication of her father who is living with PD was the supreme topping, like a cherry on top of a Sundae. So what can I do for my Apathy, I say push through it, get positive, do something for others, get back to a previous regime or start a new one. Also recognize the impact that your actions make on other people, not only the ones that you know but even those that you don’t but they know you.
So next time apathy sneaks into to your head, take action, do something about it. Pick yourself up by the boot straps and do something construct, even house work or gardening till the negative feelings pass. And spend a little time on the deck with your favourite friend(s). In my case it would be Charlie, just one of two golden retrievers.
